Deck the holiday's in the face
by Latalia
Summary: read it or I'll cry, then you'll be responsible for making a poor pixie like me cry before Christmas. Maybe you'll feel bad! Or not--?


Discliamers~ Awe, you know the drill. You're smart people after all, so you know I don't own any Gundam Wing characters or related themes/topics or other such things. 

  
  


This fic is based on my feelings about the Christmas season as of late, how everyone seems stressed and tense during this time when we should be celebrating life and the pleasures seasons bring. So wham-bam-thank you ma'am I put a slightly humorous spin on that dismal fact and

jammed in all our favorite pilots.

  
  


*~~*

  
  


The Yuy family~ Heero 36, Relena 36, Lee 17, Epyon 13

  
  


The Maxwell family~ Duo 36, Hilde 36, Kris 16, Liam 15

  
  


The Barton family~ Trowa 37, Midi-Une 36, Latalia 16, Beak and Tanith 10, unborn child

  
  


The Winner family~ Quatre 36, Catherine 41, Kiro 17

  
  


The Chang family~ Wufei 37, Sally Poe 42, Mulan 17

  
  


*~~*

  
  


"I hate you, you know that right?"

Quatre sighed wearily, rolling his eyes before burying his face in his palms. "Please Kiro, try to behave. It's only for a weekend, and it's a holiday. A time for cheer, kindness and good will towards man-"

Kiro pushed forward in his seat, straining against his seat belt and his jeans under him causing a screeching sound on the sleek leather covers. "Blah blah, friggin blah! Dad, think about it, cramped in a cabin with everyone for an entire weekend? It's insanity and you know it! We'll kill each other!"

Catherine watched bemused as her son and husband argued feverishly about the Christmas holiday plans, lolling her head about against the limo seat she occupied across from the blonde males.

Currently they were in a stare down, and Amelia marveled yet again at the similarities between the men in her life. Both had silky hair that seemed to be spun of virginal gold, though due to the added tint of her own bleach colored hair running through Kiro's blood his was a good few shades lighter and nearly white. 

Both had wide passive doe eyes surrounded by dark batting eyelashes, the shades of blue stunning on either side from ocean to an impossible clear sky. 

"Okay you two," Cathrine barked, holding up her hands in a T sign. "Time out, chill."

Both pale faces turned to her simontainiosly, their mouths gaping into wide o-shapes and fingers pointing at one another.

Catherine squashed their protests post-haste "Enough, Kiro; we are going to the cabin with our family friends, no butts about it, and you are going to have a good time and be the polite young man I know I raised."

Kiro snorted, crossed his arms in defeat and resigned to stare huffily out the window at the passing by scenery of endless snow covered forest.

"Quatre dear; be easy on poor Kiro, he's missing a cruise on the coastline with Derrick to be here with us and the family. Take your own advice and be thankful."

Quatre beamed a gentle smile at his wife forming wrinkles at the corners from graceful aging, reaching across the length of their limo quarters to grasp her hand in his. "Your right dear, I'm sorry."

Together they turned scorching and expectant gazes at the side of Kiro's head, he glanced at them without turning. 

"What?"

"Aren't you sorry for bickering with your father?"

Kiro growled through tight lips, an action that sent his wild bangs fluttering about his forehead. Looking a bit forlorn as he rested the point of his squared off chin in the palm of one arm resting against the window frame. "Sure, fine, whatever."

  
  


*~~*

  
  


Sally's toes pushed off lightly as the wooden railed chair glided backwards, pushing her forward again in the smooth wafting rhythm. The sun was hovering above the tree line before her, warming even the pristine white snow covering the world only precious feet away. 

The stiff body at her right made a sound in it's throat, something close to a growl. 

Sally gazed to her right under lazily half lidded eyes, "Wufei? What's the matter?"

Wufei was not happy to say the least, his scowl was only deepening over the brim of his upturned parka collar. "It's cold here."

Sally chuckled in her deep husky tone, moving a hand to pat and rub his leg through the four or five layers of cloth there. "Yes dear, that would be the point of mountains and having a 'white' Christmas."

"I don't celebrate the blasted holiday."

"That's not my fault."

Their almost pre-determined exchange of heated words was interrupted by a slight rattling of the barren wooden floorboards beneath their toes.

Wufei's coal eyes darted around franticly, and he attempted to rise. An unsuccessful movement due to the bubble suit of winter wear he was sporting, he fell back against the loveseat with a groan. The rattling had become worse, a mighty trampling that shook the wrap around porch and sounded through the silent countryside like machine gun rounds.

"What in hell's name-?"

The stoic couple had just enough time to turn towards the horrific sounds when the cause came barreling around the southeast corner of the house.

A mighty full speed stampede thundered towards them. Leading the procession were two waist tall boys of ten, screaming at the top of their lungs and running with hands outstretched. 

Just at their heels with the promise of murder blazing in her wickedly slanted eyes was the prized daughter of the Chang's, Mulan, heaving mighty howls at her prey.

Tailing the strange parade like spectacle was a bounding golden retriever, yipping and barking excitedly at Mulan's heels to show this was great fun.

Sally was left with the only reaction of blinking at Baek and Tanith whizzed past her in a blur of wet sand colored hair and matching royal blue ski jackets. 

But as their daughter raced past, Wufei elegantly stuck out a log thick arm of unbending stuffing. Her midsection connected with it and she coughed loudly before falling backwards against the porch floorboards and gasping for air. 

Sally swung her arm to the side and roughly jabbed at Wufei's exposed face before diving off the chair and moving towards her incapacitated daughter. "Mulan? Honey are you all right?"

Mulan's eyes flashed open, her eyebrows lowered into a tight knit. "Dad!"

With natural fighter's grace she used her slim bare arms as a lever, propelling herself off her back and into a solid stand. She threw her hands on her hips, flaring at the Michelin man like creature with her father's un-amused face. "Why'd you do that?"

"I won't have you recklessly speeding about, disturbing this peaceful place with your ridiculously childish antics. You are seventeen years old, act your age."

Mulan held her place of furry before a steady glare from Wufei brought her to resign, she bowed her head a curt centimeter before excusing herself inside.

Sally rose off her knee from the porch, smoothing out the loud fabric of her snow pants. "Sheesh, you'd think the fresh air would do something to freshen up your attitude."

Wufei grunted again, furrowing further into the upturned collar of his parka.

  
  


~**~

  
  


Beak led the way in the back door, coming to a stop inside the toasty kitchen to brace his hands on his knees and catch his breath. Tanith followed suit, huffing and panting to wake the dead and holding his painfully straining ribs. 

"D-" Baek started, coughing and licking his chapped lips before trying a decent full breathed sentence. "Did we loose her?"

  
  


Tanith raised up from his bent torso, hands behind his neck as he struggled to regain the oxygen he'd lost escaping from the mad teenager. "Yeah, I-I think so. Where's Sam?"

Baek opened the kitchen door at his back, peeking through into the chilly air finding no trace of their golden furred companion he shut the door again and shrugged. "Must've followed Mulan."

Across the room the main door opened, and three wildly chattering women floated through.

Amongst the bunch of estrogen filled bodies was their mother, positioned in the center looking up the good foot or two that separated herself from Mrs. Yuy and Mrs. Chang.

Midi wasn't sporting the elements tested clothing everyone else in the household was, as her nearly basket ball sized stomach jutted out and dejected any futile hopes of fitting anything but paternal pants over the nine month bulge. And her hands came to a permanent rest lately on her back, bracing her small frame against the extra weight of the newest to-be member of the Barton clan.

"Hey mom." Both twins called, their voices like a mirrored echo.

Her attention ripped away from her companions to the boys, a warm glow and sparkle spreading over her cherub facial features. "Hey, how's my boys?"

"Fine." Again both boys spoke as one unit, and then moved with timed footsteps to gently hug their mother and pat her tee-shirt covered belly. 

Sally sidled away from the sight, her lips covered in startling red lipstick lifted in disgust on one side. "Those two are perhaps the creepiest things I've ever seen."

Both boys lifted their heads to her height, batting their eyes innocently. "We love you too auntie Sally."

Sally shuddered and jammed a finger tip toward the door, "Git you children of the corn wannabe's. Git!"

The trio of Barton's giggled in unison even as the boys scurried from the kitchen, disappearing into the living room where more torture in the form of human victims were to be found. 

Relena chuckled along with Midi as they worked themselves into seats around the table, while Sally checked the small chickens roasting in the stove before setteling into her own white oak chair.

"They look more and more like Trowa everyday." Relena murmured thoughtfully, looking at the door through which Midi's children had sped through.

Midi nodded in hasty agreement, "You wouldn't know they were mine at all if it weren't for their hair color." Reaching up to rake her fingers through her strands of matching dirty blonde.

"Well I still think they be creepy, the way they say stuff together and finish each other's sentences. Just ain't right." Sally said pointedly.

Midi smiled, crossing her arms into a comfortable rest position atop her stomach. 

Relena watched this with a curious one sided cock to her narrow face, "You're about ready to cumbust Midi. Is my new niece going to honor us with her presence soon or what?"

"We'll see." Midi sighed, rubbing the top of her bulge. "Hey, by the way, where are Lee and Eppy?"

Relena counted off on her fingers, "Well Epyon's up in her room typing up a homework assingment. And Lee's off somewhere with Latalia."

The three woman snickered, but it was Sally who made the connection. "And you trust those two alone?"

"I don't!" Midi squeeked, her doe eyes growing wide.

  
  


*~~*

  
  


He had her now, right where he wanted her.

Latalia bearely had enough time to turn, hearing the crunch and lightning like cackles Lee's boarding boots were making in the snow as he advanced on her, then she was tackled.

She threw her head back against the snow bank they'd rolled into, pummeling Lee's chest through his snow suit with her gloved hands.

Lee chuckled once before going to work, pinning her flailing arms at her sides and sitting his full stradled weight on her chest. She was pinned indefinatly, struggling from side to side only to find that with each turn her sides rammed in to Lee's legs on either side. 

"Lee!" She whinned, rasing her chin up to him and batting her large grey colored eyes.

Lee was content with gazing down at his catch, appreciating thepink flush to her smooth cheeks and her slightly open mouth she was panting through. Her flood of ashy colored hair was strewn about her head and over the pristine snow in a rather effective halo, pulled away from her face by a

  
  


*~~*

  
  


Author's unnecessary comments which no one reads anyways~ Yeah, I know it was the worst possible way to end this first chapter and it's

inexcusably short…but I'm running on five days of no sleep here (no kidding) and I'm all sleepy cause I finally took enough Nyquil to keel an

elephant.

  
  


Umm, next chapter's due Friday if anyone at all's looking forward to it (crickets chirp) yeah, thought not. But if you did happen upon this would you

mind hitting that little 'submit review' button down there and give me a jollie by commenting?

  
  


Writers need to know their work's at least being studied and critiqued every so often, gives our measly existences meaning. Muchos grande

gracious! (ha, I don't speak Spanish)


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